I don’t do new year resolutions but

2014steadtherhythmsmall

But the beginning of this particular year coincides with an important shift in my life, so I want to keep some priorities steady through the process. First, though, the shift–David and I are moving to a new apartment. We aren’t just moving to just any apartment, though. We’re moving into a place that has an air of permanency. It’s a place we’re actively excited to settle into and grow our life around after a couple of years of being in an in-between phase. I can get caught up in all the flashy excitement of newness, planning all sorts of grand ideas for a shiny new life, but that’s not where I want to be focused. I want to be rooted in reality, and actively working to make my reality reflect the genuine love and excitement my life contains.

In true hipster fashion, I was on Pinterest before it was big. I’m a snob, I know, but I was the first wave of users post-beta testing, and it was a pretty cool experience to watch it just blow up in success. I stopped using, though, after a while because I didn’t like feeling caught up in the trappings of all the planning and good intentions without any of the follow through. With the allure of decorating a new apartment, though, I let myself get drawn into that colorful and exhilarating little addiction. I’m working on keeping only pins that are attainable, though, things I genuinely think I can implement in my real life. That, and a collection of awe-inspiring art, because that stuff is just so fun.

Being bipolar is like living an exaggeration of a normal life, and I get caught up in the waves of big big BIG ideas, and then getting crushed by a feeling of absolute failure when those grandiose ideas don’t grow out of the initial planning phase. That’s pretty quid pro quo for humans in general, I know, but the thing about bipolar brain chemistry is just how exaggerated and overwhelming those normal experiences can turn into. This year is the year I want to work on balancing those waves, though, with a more practical and realistic mentality guiding me through the brain chemistry. The more time I spend on medication, the more I feel in control of my life, and that’s a pretty amazing feeling. I still get caught up in the waves, though, and not too recently I went through a couple of [awful] weeks refusing to take meds because omgcrazybrainmuch, but I’m definitely finding my rhythm.

artprojects coffeeshopsketching davidwithnewphone lyraonthecouch marcigrrwithhat timkaylingroupphoto

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4 thoughts on “I don’t do new year resolutions but

  1. I love realistic goal setting and I love your approach to Pinterest. As inspiring and amazing as that site is, it can also be totally destroying.

    Congrats on the new home. I hope that it provides the stability and comfort you’re looking for and I hope that all of your art adorns the walls, making it truly your own.

    P.S. loving all the photos of your art journal on Instagram. Your work (and Lisa’s) is enough inspiration that I don’t have to look to Pinterest!

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