It’s been too long since my last spider story

Don’t worry, there won’t be pictures. If you’re new (or if you just feel like reliving the horror) my other spider posts are here and here.

So when I moved into my first apartment, I was living all alone and it was glorious. My boyfriend at the time had keys to the place, though, and it was not uncommon for him to go to my apartment when his classes got out regardless of whether I was there or not. My place was closer than his and, as I mentioned, I didn’t have roommates. He did homework there, I guess, I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter.

What is relevant is that whenever a spider surprised me, I would be super immature about it and trap it with a cup on the floor. A cup that I would then leave on the floor as I headed out to class, if I knew he was planning on stopping by. About five minutes before I figured he would arrive, I would send him a text letting him know that there was a present under the cup on the floor and that it was a spider.

This eventually got old, as you can imagine, and he let me know that he was pretty much done with dealing with my spiders. What a loser, huh? (I’m kidding, he was a great guy and suffered silently through my spider presents for like seven months)

So I turned to the next best thing–my freezer. I don’t know how this became the next best thing for me, but I expanded on my trapped cup method by flipping said cup and freezing the spider until it was safe to toss it in the toilet. The best part? I wouldn’t tell my boyfriend what was in the cups in the freezer. Because I’m evil like that. One time, because I am a twisted and strange person, I put the frozen spider in my ice tray and made a spider ice cube out of it. I mostly just did it because it freaked out every person who wanted to chill their drink. When I moved out, I totally left that ice tray in the back of the freezer. Because I’m twisted.

Fast forward to last night, when I was cooking dinner, and a hobo sider appeared on the wall right above the counter. After I shit a brick I grabbed a mason jar and tried the whole freezer technique. It worked great, except when David came home and I had to explain the process to him. He might think I’m even crazier than I used to be, but that’s fine. He the one responsible for unthawing it before the flush.

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6 thoughts on “It’s been too long since my last spider story

    • You’re not the first to voice that concern. Really it’s because I’m absolutely terrified when they move around. I just want them to be dead before I have to deal with them. I give them no opportunity to jump at me and attack!

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