The Allegory P4

I strongly encourage you read Part One Part Two and Part Three if you haven’t already done so. FYI I have a small epilogue planned for Friday.

The astute reader will take this moment to recall my opening words, or even just the title. If this is an allegory, then what is the idea or concept I’m using this story to represent? The predictable spoiler is that I am M. I am both characters or, rather, both characters are within me. That night on the beach really happened, although some of the details have been changed a bit. Instead of finding the body of a mythical creature, it was actually the beginnings of a story. A story for which you’ve just read the outline.

It’s a story that illustrates what it’s like to be in my head, though, since that is where M lives. His residency is in a particularly rotted part of my brain. Not as a person, since it would be a mistake for a reader to take this metaphor too far, but as a violent storm that I try my best to avoid getting caught up in. True to the narrator, I keep that part of my mind on a strictly distanced and limited contact. Things happen, though, events are pushed into motion and triggers are activated. Whatever the actual reason, it is not uncommon that I take my allegorical trip to M and get caught up in the storm.

Here’s the thing about mental illness or, in my case more specifically, about being bipolar type 1. It’s so easy to think the storm is beautiful and worth saving. To think that it is the source of my creativity and that being destroyed is the inevitable price of who I am. That is a lie, though. It is only one of many that my head tells me when I’m in one of my darker places. Because the truth is, no matter how many times I get pulled out to sea–and it has been many– I’ve never quite drowned. Mostly it is the strength of others, like my sister, my mother, my partner and my friends who pull me back. Sometimes, though, it is even been my own strength. I am stronger than the storm that lives in my head, and that is a beautiful truth to cling to.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “The Allegory P4

  1. For the last 3 days my post-work ritual has been to:
    a) Settle down with a cup of tea in front of the computer.
    b) Open up the WordPress Reader.
    c) Find the latest part of your story.
    d) Forget how the previous part ended.
    e) Open up the other parts and read it all from the beginning again.

    From this I can say that:
    a) I bloody love this… all of this! I hope you realize how impressive you are. You write so keenly and sensitively about this part of yourself without descending into melodrama or over-reaching for poetic language.
    b) I want a book. When will there be books? Also, how will you get it across the pond to me? I keep throwing money at the screen but I don’t seem to be receiving any books? Why is this? Tech support!
    c) The links to the other parts of the story in your introductory italics don’t seem to work. I have had to go to your home page and click LABORIOUSLY on each link for myself. My finger aches from the strain…

    Love and thanks for the story from:
    a) Space Giraffe.
    b) Space Giraffe’s brain.

    • 1–And the award for nicest comment ever goes to…. Space Giraffe. To be shared in joint custody with Space Giraffe’s Brain. Thank you.

      2–I fixed the links. Sorry bout that. I also gave the posts a tag that you can search with. Hope that helps and thanks for letting me know about the problem.

      3–As soon as I finish writing them, editing them, finding a publisher and getting them printed, there will be books. I don’t talk about it a whole lot, but I quit my perfect 8-5 job last July in order to work more on my writing. So, you know, it’s going to happen. And when it does, I’m pretty sure the award of nicest comment ever takes the form of a signed first edition from yours truly. Cheers!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s