I’ve written before about how biking is my main mode of transportation. It’s my thing, and it’s how I travel the 8 mile round trip to my job. And I’ve learned that unless I wear a really thick scarf, sometimes two, breathing is going to be an extremely painful thing. You have asthma David said insistently and repeatedly. I just need to drink some warm tea I would wheeze back as I thoroughly ignored the problem.
People who know me in real life know that I get a little obsessive when it comes to worrying. I worry about a lot of things, many of which deserve not even half an iota of my brain space. Asthma, though? I ignored the problem. I wrote it off as me being out of shape, despite several signs to the contrary. Despite having had asthma attacks in the past (they ended when my sister or a friend with an inhaler handed me it, said oh my god just try this). Cue last Thursday night, when I couldn’t breathe. The fog has been particularly bad around these here parts and have led to a build up of some nasty air pollution. It felt like I was having a panic attack, but no matter how calm I tried to be, it wouldn’t go away. I fell asleep breathing shallowly and refusing to let myself panic and assumed it would be over when I woke up.
My morning plans with my mom were promptly rerouted when I mentioned I was still having a hard time taking deep breaths and she asked why I was being so damn stubborn about not seeing a doctor. One (surprisingly pleasant) trip to the nearby walk in clinic later, and it’s official.
David gets his I Told You So card and I get two inhalers. You think I would have learned my lesson about ignoring signs from my body at this point, but yesterday proved otherwise when I ignored the oncoming migraine, to the point of going grocery shopping. It took me sitting on the couch and wondering why I felt like throwing up before my brain finally connected the pieces that it was because I was in so much pain and maybe it was time for me to turn off the lights, put the book away, and go lay down.
Baby steps, people. Baby steps.