The Day I Turned Into A Troll

Internet Troll

An internet troll, to be precise.

I don’t know how it happened, but somehow last night I turned into a troll on the internet. It was embarrassing, unexpected, and completely unproductive. I could write all about how my inner sense of indignity had been ignited and I had to make a stand, but really, I was an ass. I know I wasn’t as bad as I could have been, and I know I didn’t cross the line so far that it was a teensy tiny speck or anything, but cross the line I did. And it was a first for me. So that was awkward.

Mostly because now that I’ve returned to be my non-grunting, wart-free, de-trolled ways, I don’t know how I’m supposed to apologize. Well, that is, I don’t know how to apologize without making the whole thing even bigger than it is already. Deleting the comment seems like the cowards way out, but a civilized and genuine apology feels like it’ll just come across as trite and overly dry. And drama-esque. Like I’m trying to blow the thing up even more.

Perhaps that’s why troll encounters usually escalate to hardcore until they’re babbling angry angry nonsense–there’s no good method for disarmament.

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5 thoughts on “The Day I Turned Into A Troll

  1. I don’t know that I’ve ever been the troll, but I have definitely fallen for troll behaviour. I have fed them to no end, only to later realize what I had done.

    The internet is a rough place, though. People write things that are totally out of line. They say things they would never say in real life. They say things just to get people riled up. It’s really hard to hold back. I totally get it. I’m passionate, too. And sometimes I can’t even control my little fingers as they spew.

    • Thanks for totally getting it–my moment was born entirely out of someone else’s very short-sighted, judgemental comment and it really just managed to get the best of my temper. :-\

  2. Someone sent me an email at work in response to an e-mail blast that went out with the subject line, “Happy holidays from us!” and said, “It’s actually Christmas time. Do u say happy holidays when it’s someone’s birthday?”

    AND I WANTED TO JUST RIP THEM A NEW BUTTHOLE VIA THE INTERNET SO HARD.

    But I didn’t, because at the end of the day, they have to live with their ignorance and intolerance, and while that may not bother them at the moment, it sure as hell makes me feel like the bigger person.

    That restraint is due in large part to a very unfortunate (and still stomach-turning) exchange on Reddit, which has since kept me pretty much in read-only mode for many things.

    But not your blog! πŸ˜€

    • I’m glad you’re not on read-only for me! Also, their comment sucks balls! Like, big fuzzy gross ones. My troll moment was definitely inspired by a similarly-intelligent comment. Grr internetpeople…

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