NaNoWriMo Week 4

Oh man November is almost over and I’m no where near finishing this story! If you guys are interested, though, I’d be down to keep sharing clips on Friday even through December. I’m so friggin’ determined to finish it! Anyway, today’s clip feels like a bit of a cop out BUT last week I hear some grumblings from the peanut gallery about the cliffhanger. This is the ending to that story, and it’s the first time I’ve ever written an ending quite like this. So if you didn’t read last weeks, I’d definitely recommend reading it again


You’re wrong.”

He leaned down and grabbed her feet, pulling her back towards him. Sara screamed loudly this time as she felt his hands on her bare skin. It was as if he was reaching through her boots and jeans. He dropped one of her feet and smacked her across the mouth—not hard enough to hurt badly, but enough to stun her into temporary silence.

“You’re so wrong,” he repeated, placing an emphasis on the last word that sent an icy shiver of terror down Sara’s spine. You reek from it. I have to fix how wrong you are.”

Sara regained enough sense to scream again, but by now it was too late. The branches created an unsolvable maze above Sara’s face as she lay where he dragged her, to the base of the strong solid oak. He kneeled above her head, using her knees to pin her arms agains her body. She traced useless exits from the branches’ pathways as his hands tightened around her throat. Brilliant red stars burst into life on top of her maze, making her lose her place for a moment. She could still hear him muttered to himself frantically, like he was still trying to appease the demons in his head.

“You are so wrong. I’m fixing this, I’m making this better. You need to be fixed. You reek but I can fix this.”

Sara fought to keep tracing a way out of the branches’ labyrinth, fighting through the distracting bursts of stars. Even as the walls of the maze grew thicker and threatened to trap her inside she continued to fight. Her eyes traced a possible escape from the gith. Her eyes traced a possible escape from the branches and refused to look away, to even blink. She could feel his hands as they crushed her windpipe the way someone could imagine collapsing a cardboard tube. None of it seemed to matter as much, though, so she stopped noticing it. She stopped hearing his desperate ravings and didn’t feel how her face filled with blood, boiling against her skin. She didn’t notice the black empty space from where she once was connected to her body.

Instead, Sara raced against the collapsing walls with her eyes. In the last second she reached the open blue sky before that, too, went dark.


2 thoughts on “NaNoWriMo Week 4

  1. I forgot that the whole idea of the book is for her to constantly die (right!?). I was convinced she would get out of this unscathed, but rattled. Proved me wrong, pal. Proved me wrong. I like the imagery as she died. Although, I always find death hard to read when it’s talked about in detail, I found your metaphors fascinating (especially the windpipe being like a cardboard tube!).

    I would love for you to post all through December!! Keep it coming.

    • Yeah I had a hard time writing about it in detail, which is mostly why I switched out of the description, and into something else 🙂 I’ll try and keep up the posting to motivate myself!

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