The metaphor was obvious. It paralleled that particular hour of the day perfectly. We were going to run errands. Lamesauce, but life. David agreed to take some outfit photos beforehand. We stepped outside and it was raining. Forget the photos, I told him. Forget the Target run. They weren’t things I needed.
It was raining, and I pouted. My mood just plummeted, and for no good reason. I watched the rain and sulked our entire errands. It wasn’t one of my proudest moments. We turned out of the parking lot of our last stop and I paused, noticing something. The rainbow breaking through the rain. It was a vibrant rainbow, almost doubling out on itself. It was beautiful, and I watched as the sunlight beat away the clouds and turned our day into a brighter, happier one. The weather blew my bad mood away, and I apologized to David for being a butt head. We went on to have a really nice evening.
Like I said, an obvious metaphor. Simplistic. Too predictable and tired of a writer’s cliche to be blog fodder, but the moment happened exactly like that. I’m only writing about it because the weather mirrored more than that moment–it was an accurate mirror of the past few weeks. Months?
It’s been rough. As my sister noted, my level of tolerance for poor decisions in others is at an all time low. I’m definitely being tested to my limits. There was a two week stint where I cried literally every single day. I’ve had a friend betray my trust with a poor decision. I’ve watched as strangers have been rude to me and take advantage of someone I love. I’ve been lonely, isolated, and stressed about not having a job. Stormy times, my friends. Stormy times.
But, in true spirit of my original metaphor, there is a rainbow. I can feel the clouds lifting, and while no problems are being immediately solved, I feel like I can finally breath again. Enough to handle everything that’s going on. In no small part it’s probably being my mom helped me finally unpack and set up my art studio. I’ve been painting. I’ve been doing silly little crafts. I’ve finally regained my space, and along with that, my sanity.